Tuesday, April 18, 2006

A Smile for You

Okay, so today is a beautiful spring day, and I really want to be outside cleaning up my yard, listening to the birds tell my cats off as they cruise the yard, and I really want to uncoop from my office and enjoy some fresh Michigan air.

But before I do, I have to smile and share a fun email (thanks, Mark!) which brings back fond memories of my years in law enforcement. Please enjoy, and I'll be back with antiques-stuff in my next post.

The following 15 police comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?

#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh. Did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

# 9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

# 8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

# 7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey doo."

# 6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

# 5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

# 4 "Just how big were those two beers?"

# 3 "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write
as many tickets as we want."

# 2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

And... THE BEST ONE!!!

# 1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?... You're right, we don't. ... Sign here.

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