My good friend Dena send this one, and I had tears of laughter rolling down my face after reading it. It's dumb, but it's funny. (Whoever wrote this has way too much time on their hands!)
For my fellow writers, can't you just see using these "suggestions"?
Write or paste the text you want to clean up...
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
' BREASTED AMERICAN.'
2. She is not 'EASY' - She is
3. She is not a 'DUMB BLOND' - She is a
'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'
4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a
5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes
' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'
6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a
' LOW COST PROVIDER.'
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a
'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'
2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is
' OVERLY CAUCASIAN'
(or "cha-cha challenged.")
3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He
' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'
4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in
5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of
6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants
- It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE.'
Thanks for the laughs, Dena! (((hugs)))